


I care about you

by TheCoffeeNebula9



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29374821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCoffeeNebula9/pseuds/TheCoffeeNebula9
Summary: After a traumatic work experience you had back in the States you decided to relocate to the DEA. Working with Steve and Javier wasn't so bad. You knew Steve, you went to school together, but Javier, you didn't really know him but you were falling for him. The only thing was that you were so damaged that you couldn't open yourself up to anyone. You decided to take it whatever it was that was going on with you out on your work.Javier notices your odd behaviour and wants to make sure nothing happens to you.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	I care about you

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: language... and It is a little smutish at the end 
> 
> This was my first time writing for Javi. I hope you like it :)

"You're a dick, Pena."

Seeing Pena's face was enough to ruin the entire day for you. You really weren't in the mood for work today. Not after what happened that weekend, but you had to put up with it, so you just sucked it up and got over with it. The moment you walked into the office and saw Pena's face you felt the frustration built up inside of you. The words had to be said. You had to let him know how you felt. Steve looked up in surprise wondering what this could be about. Pena seemed just as surprised as Steve.

Now it wasn't new that Javier was a dick. Everyone knew this. But when it was said out loud, by you, no less, meant something was up.

"What did I do?" Pena turned his gaze upon Steve who was giving him a look. Pena grunted arching his eyebrow as his gaze fell upon you, waiting for you answer.

Steve rolled his eyes. Knowing damn well what Pena was capable of doing. He already speculated a half dozen things that Javier could have done to you.

There goes another partner, Steve thought. You were the best they had yet. This wasn't your area of expertise, but you were a damn good cop. It was your dream after all to become a detective. Back at home your job was to find people. You could find almost any person who didn't want to be found. You liked the work. That's why this job offer seemed like a new challenge for you. You were ready for something new. After what you had been through, you needed to be on new grounds. Colombia seemed the best place to do so.

"Not this shit again" Steve mumbled under his breath trying to keep his business to himself… for the time being at least… He wanted to see where this was going first.

"You know damn well what I am talking about, Pena." You said taking a seat at your desk.

Pena did know what you were talking about. He didn't expect this reaction. He knew you were mad, but it all happened two days ago, he thought you would have cooled down by now.

He just sat there quietly staring at you. You looked so beautiful. That fierce look into your eyes.

"Fine. Call me a dick all you want. It won't change what happened."

The tension in the office was to cut. A silence fell over the office. It went on for hours as none of you wanted to speak to one another. Steve couldn't take the silence anymore.

He stood up from his desk making his way toward the door "I hope that by the time I've come back you two resolved this thing that is going on because you are getting on my nerves. If we are going to capture Escobar, you to have to fucking get your shit together".

He sounded like a disappointed father who wanted his kids to behave. The both of you didn't dare to meet his eyes. He rolled his eyes and walked out of the office, cursing under his breath.

It was just you and Pena now. You noticed Javier's mouth open ready to speak up. You really didn't want to deal with him and his explanations for his behavior, so you stood up from your desk without saying a word, leaving Javier alone in the office. Javi sighed pained and let his head drop into his hands letting it rest there for a moment. Why did you have to make things so complicated?

Pena decided he needed a cup of coffee. He left the office just like his partners did and went down to the kitchen.

He didn't want you to respond like this. He didn't even know why you responded like this. He didn't really do anything wrong. He helped you.

You hadn't said a word to him since this morning. Even though it was to tell him he was a dick.

He knew he had to talk to you. But how was he going to if you didn't want to. You and Steve were buddies. You have worked together before and you and you already knew Connie because you went to the same school. Steve mentioned that you have been acting strangely lately. Maybe this is the reason why you are focusing all your anger towards him. Steve also mentioned something about a partner, but he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. He needed to know what was going on with you. He needed you to be you. He can't work with this version of you. This version kept making things complicated.

He walked past the file room lost in his own thoughts as he noticed the door was open. He noticed you standing in the middle of the room reaching for a box on one of the shelves. He hesitantly decided to walk in knowing once he was in the room there was no going back. He closed the door behind him for some privacy.

You jumped a little at the sound of the closing door noticing Javi standing opposite from you. Javier was staring at you with his honeyed puppy eyes. You looked away, trying not to get lost in them. That happened from time to time. You tried to deny yourself the feelings that stirred up every time you looked at him. Nothing good could come from it. Besides he was way too busy fucking other women than to notice you.

What was he doing here? Did he come here to lecture you or did he finally see you and came here to have sex with you. It would be really stupid of him if he thought that now was the time to do so. No matter how much you fantasized about it, you really didn't want any of it now.

"Not in the mood, Javi" you said staring down at the file you were holding.

Javier has to hide his laugh. The thought of you thinking that this is the reason why he is here amuses him. Especially because you are mad at him.

" That is not why I am here. I want to talk to you."

"Not in the mood for that either" you said coldly, still keeping your eyes on the file you’re holding.

Javier began to lose his own temper here as well. He was getting a little tired of this behavior. Did you really despise him that much?

He sighed rubbing his eyes “Fine, then just listen….,"

"I don't know what is going on with you, I don't know what, but something is clearly going on. All I did that night was protect you.... I was just trying to protect you."

You had contact with a narco who told you he had information about Escobar. You agreed to meet him. What you didn't know was his loyalty to Escobar. You shouldn't have trusted him. You had been rubbing to deep, looking for contact with the men and women who should not be trusted at all, but you did it anyways. It had to get you somewhere. Pena had been keeping his eyes on you. Tracking your every moment. Just to make sure that you didn't do anything stupid, which you did. In Pena's eyes you were reckless and naive. You didn't see the risks. That's why he stopped you before you could walk into the trap that had been set out for you.

Pena wondered if this had always been your workstyle. Steve told him it was and that it wasn't. You used to be way more careful with what you did. Especially with cases like these. You would not just risk it, no. You analyzed every situation as long as you could before having a well built-up plan. You didn't have a plan, not really. You just wanted to catch them. No matter what the cost would be.

You dropped your files onto the box you grabbed them out of. His intentions might have been good, but it lost you your bait.

"You lost me intel Pena, you know that? I had him right there. He could've told me more about…."

"They weren't going to tell you anything (y/n), they were going to kill you!" He raised his voice to make his point clear. You've seen him as furious as this but he has never shouted, not at you.

"They know who you are. These people know everything. They aren't some regular criminals. They are far more dangerous than a common criminal. You have to be more careful! "

His words upset you slightly.

"Why do you care so much about what would happen to me?"

"Why don't you?" He responded, sounding very concerned.

He was right. You should care about what happens to you. Why didn't you. You didn't know, or you did but you didn't want to admit to these thoughts. They scared you.

"I….I…." Tears began to fill your eyes.

"Do you have some sort of death wish?" Javier grabbed a hold of you having a firm grip on your arms shaking you "do you?!"

Tears started to roll down your cheeks.

"No"

He stopped shaking you, grounding you. Hoping you would come to your senses.

"Then what are you doing?"

Your entire body started to shake, you couldn't stop it. Neither could you breathe really well. It felt as if the air was being sucked out of you. It became hard for you to swallow. A gagging feeling began to form. Images were flashing in front of you.

"I... I just want to feel something."

"You what? You don't realize the consequences of this job."

Your legs couldn't hold you anymore. You collapsed. It was a good thing that Pena we still in reach of you. He caught you before you it the floor. You really gave him a scare.

"Shit! (Y/n)" you were clearly having some sort of panic attack. Caused by him.

"(Y/n), talk to me."

"I…." The images in your mind were overtaking your thought process. It was all happening again.

"It's there…. it's always there" you cry out.

"What is?"

"That afternoon, at the steak out"

Javier had no clue what you were talking about. Was this that thing Murphy told him about? He encouraged you to keep talking.

You and your partner had led to a group of bank robbers. They were clever, always knew ways to outsmart the police. You were a step closer this time. You were going to catch them in the act, but it went miserably wrong. Apparently, they had been tipped off by someone. They knew the police was there. Your partner got shot. One of the bullets went through his head… of the head of Your partner. The man you loved. The images of his death body covered in blood. They haunted you.

"I lost him. They killed him."

"Who?"

"My partner" you told Pena the story. He nodded and listened.

"Okay, I understand you are trying to cope with your trauma but that is still no excuse for your reckless behavior."

Javier was rubbing circles on your back, hoping it would calm you. It did. You felt like you could breathe again.

"You don't understand Pena. I haven't felt anything ever since that happened. Nothing. I thought that maybe if I would take this job, I would come back to my senses but all it did was push me in further. All I want is to feel again, Javi."

Javier let go of you now your steadier then you were a few moments ago. He sent his hands to your face to wipe away your tears that were rolling down your cheeks.

"You won't find them in near death situations." He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. It was a bit awkward. You never hugged. It felt nice though.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

You loved this side of him. This softer side. He was so gentle. If only he would show this side more.

He pulled away from the hug a little, still holding you.

You stopped crying. Your eyes were red. Your entire body felt weak from the shaking. If Javier would let you go you would probably still collapse. You tried to smile at him.

"You care about me?" You said with a hint of teasing in your voice.

Javi grinned rolling his eyes. Of course, that wouldn't go by you quietly.

"Yes I do…. Don’t tell Murphy."

You laughed. Showing more of yourself than you did in the past couple of months.

"See you do feel”.

"This is different" all you felt right now in this moment was embarrassment. You broke down in front of your freaking crush. This is not how you wanted Javier to see you. He didn’t seem to mind. That’s how much he cared. Here you are, thinking that he couldn’t care less about what would happen to his partners and here he is, telling you otherwise.

"Is it?" You looked into his eyes. His beautiful brown eyes were staring into your soul. "Apparently I just made you smile”. Again, he had a point. You did feel. You just denied yourself the feelings that had been botteling up inside of you. You’ve clearly been in love with this man the moment you met him. How could you not have seen this as a proper feeling. Maybe because this wasn’t what you saw as the feelings you were missing. You were missing sadness, you couldn’t grieve, but maybe this was because of the trauma. Of the things that you have seen. All you needed was time. Now you found someone who could help you through that time.

“Maybe it is me you need to feel again." Javier said. He bit his lip letting his gaze fall upon your lips. His head moved forward, gently pressing his lips against yours. You got lost in the moment. Wanting more. Javier got carried away and moved down to your neck. It became even harder to give in now. “Javi, don’t….” You tried to stop yourself from pushing him away, wondering what it would have been like if you let him be. “We should go back to the office, Murphy must be waiting”.

You could not believe that you just said that to him. All you ever wanted was this from the moment you met him. He clearly cared about you. how could you have missed that. Probably because you were too occupied with the depression and trauma you were dealing with. Did Javier just wake you up? Did you allow your emotions to come to the surface again? Probably not in its entirety but him being there. It sure did something.

“Maybe some other time”

Javier nodded his head, smiling. Trying not to look too disappointed. He didn’t want to overstep his boundaries with you. Not after what happened to you. He decided that taking it slow for now would be a good thing until you recovered.

Javier wrapped an arm around your waist as you walked back to the office. You were still a bit shaky on your legs. He didn’t want you to collapse again so he made sure you could walk properly. Your colleagues were staring. Wondering what happened inside of that room. Wondering why Javier was holding you. You didn’t care. They could stare all they want. Javier cared about you, and that’s all that mattered.

A little while later Steve returned to the office as well. Who knows where he had been.

The office was still filled with silence. He wasn’t quite sure if you two actually resolved anything, but the tension was gone, that was a good sign.

“So?”

You both looked up from your desk.

“We’re fine.”

“Yeah, we’re good.” You smirked. “I just figured out that Pena has a heart.”

Pena just frowned. Steve couldn’t help but laugh. Then it hit him. How did you resolve your issues?

“You didn’t sleep together did you? At least, not in this office, right? Not while I was gone.”

This was the perfect opportunity to joke around with the good old man. Javier knew immediately what you meant when you looked at him. You just stared at each other in silence both giving each other awkward look on purpose.

“Oh, for god’s sake! Why?”

You burst out laughing. Your smile captured Javier’s eyes. It was enchanting. He wished that you wouldn’t have stopped him back there, when you were alone in the archive. He knew that you were special since the day you walked into the office. He hasn’t been capable of thinking of anything else. No matter how many women he shared the bed with. All he wanted was you. He knows now that you want the same and that was all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> Another place where you can find this is on my tumblr so if you want to follow me, go ahead :)  
> Tumblr: Thecoffeenebula


End file.
